# Staircase of the Self - - public: true -  - when we are born , we have no self esteem. As kids we feel inferior to adults, and that is when we start doing things and slowly getting self esteem - self-esteem is about having the confidence to solve problems on your own accord. And the way you do this is by regularly facing challenges that stretch the boundaries of your mind, which in turn shatter and update the preexisting models you had of the world. The more you do this, the more you cultivate your sense of judgment, which allows you to shut the door to inferiority. Learning by doing - our confidence grows the more we are rewarded for our actions. This confidence boost leads to a higher attachment to the sense of self, which means that we look to further differentiate ourselves from everyone else. The desire for [[status]] - The first thing status does is that it changes the nature of confidence. Confidence is no longer gauged by your internal benchmark of progress; it is contingent upon the praise you receive from others. This makes your sense of self fragile, as its condition hinges upon reactions that are not your own. The tide of other people’s opinions never follow any predictable pattern, so you begin to operate from an unstable foundation. To counterbalance this Pride kicks in. - Pride likes to masquerade as confidence, but given enough time, it reveals its true face. Someone who says they’re proud to be a member of a political party is so attached to that identity that they will fear any legitimate opposition to it. Someone who is proud of their accomplishments will fear any attacks that are made to their body of work. - The thing about pride is that it tends to have practical benefits. Being proud of your abilities is a gravitating force, as it exudes an aura of confidence to others. It can attract influence and attention, as it draws in those with similar pursuits. It can make you a more desirable employee, which translates to a higher paycheck that drops into your account every two weeks. - However, once your pride serves these base-level desires, its utility fades rapidly. This is because pride locks you into a caricature of yourself, and makes you feel like you have to present a version of yourself that you may have already outgrown. - **We started this journey with a reflection on imitation, and how all of us begin life by copying everyone else to survive. As things progress, we **[[Learn]]** how to solve challenges on our accord, which results in self-esteem and a cultivation of the sense of self. Imitation is no longer fashionable, and we make it a point to grow our identities in a manner that differentiates us. The sense of self balloons as a result, and pride dominates the show.** - **At the pinnacle of the staircase, we are proud of how our sense of agency produced the lives we have. We believe that it is through our own volition that we have achieved certain things, and we become grossly intolerant of anyone imitating us.** - This is because self-actualization is about fulfilling your potential, which has less to do with achievements and more to do with purpose. Getting a high-paying job may do wonders for your self-esteem, but it might make you doubt whether you’re being true to yourself. - This is because self-actualization must come purely from within, free from the gaze of cultural expectations. It is only through an honest audit of your interests and curiosities that will reveal what makes you feel truly alive, and what will dissolve all notions of identity you’ve developed over time. - The sense of self drops here because you’re attuned to what makes you feel authentic, giving you access to the deepest parts of consciousness. And when it comes to accessing the most of what our senses have to offer, there is only one gateway: - Creativity. - Creativity isn’t about making art. In fact, it’s not even about making something tangible. - Creativity is the process of losing one’s sense of self through the avenue of expression. -  - Agency is you wanting to do it. - Buddha on the various areas the self could reside in. The self resides in areas you can control. Like we cant control our body(pain), so its not the self. -  - He does this same exercise with our feelings as well. We can’t control what we feel, as we often have certain emotions that linger on when we’d rather not have them. The same goes for our perceptions, our mental formations, and yes, even consciousness. We can be aware of consciousness, but we have no control over what appears there at any given moment. - But when we practice “no self,” consciousness slowly unravels itself from the other aggregates, and is ultimately liberated. It is no longer perturbed by any changes in sensation or experience, as it remains still regardless of what happens. - By being liberated, it is steady; by being steady, it is content; by being content, he is not agitated. -  - Of all the explanations I’ve heard about losing your sense of self, this one is the most digestible. So much of our identities are tied up in what we feel, who we associate with, and how we perceive the world. But if we’re able to dissolve our ties with these things, then all we’re left with is the steady state of consciousness. It’s a full immersion in what is here now, with no room for the past and no regard for the future. - Meditation is the art of doing nothing. However most of us dont want to spend our lives living in caves with monks. The desire to self actualize is kinetic, the opposite of doing nothing. This is what sadhguru and Gita saying that we have to be in full action , and then it becomes inaction, when we lose the feeling of the self I think. - A more practical approach is having no expectations and having full equanimity for win and loss. - That way life moves from this -  - to -  - - -  - The paradox is that even if you lose your sense of self, there is no self there to realize that you’ve lost it. There’s no real way to consciously know that you’ve touched this step because there is no “you” anymore to feel the contours of that step. - So perhaps “no self” is not really a step to land on, but more of a concept to keep in mind as you live your day-to-day life. It’s the realization that cultural norms, social conditioning, and past experiences have created an identity that you have held onto. It’s knowing that beneath the haze of expectations, there is a consciousness that is free from it all. - - Where you are on the staircase, you need to find out where your various selves ( in various context like parenting, busines, family)are. Consolidate them into one step, and then take the necessary action.